Morning after the session, a big rainbow manifested in the scattered dark clouds with the rising sun.
These were strange days when my childhood programming was giving way to the awakening of my timeless spirit and my human body was trying to adapt to the ongoing pressure of the expanding awareness. I was going through wild emotional swings, one moment feeling powerful and omnipotent, the other small, vulnerable, and unsettled. I had an image of my higher self somewhere far away in the future, desperately trying to bridge the gap between that and my often sad present moment. At that time giving up was no longer an option, and I kept going day by day with a burning desire to reach that which can only be granted by timeless inner peace.
During these tumultuous days, I was fortunate enough to be presented with an opportunity to conduct a few ayawaska sessions, which I accepted with much humbleness and gratitude. There was a small group of beautiful beings near Boulder Colorado who hungered for the medicine, and I was on my way to try out my curandero skills. We had potent quality medicine at our disposal and a cozy venue, setting things up for a long night ahead. I was a bit nervous, trying not to give much thought to the inevitable meltdown of this reality while having the responsibility to pilot though it.
The darkness descended in due time and we all found ourselves sitting in a spacious circle getting ready to drink the plant. Given my conducting responsibilities, I had a bit less then my usual amount, quietly drumming up the energies as people approached the glass one after another. The familiar bitterness went down quickly and the medicine started spreading through our scattered energy fields. I could hear what people where thinking and see their energies being projected unto each other and across the room. Things slowly started to quiet down and people were getting aligned with the consistent vibration of my drumming. I knew a few medicine songs that I picked up during my healing time in Peru, hoping for enough material to keep the passengers entertained through our journey.
The mountains of Peru were assisting in my journey, with Machu Picchu sending its beacon light through the vehicle of my human body. I felt present and aware, loosing my self to the steady vibrations of the drum and all of the energies that surrounded me. I saw the plant working through people, the darkness of their minds battling with the plant energy, strong vibrations of fear trying to overtake the energy of the room. With unwavering courage I stayed firm in my resolve to be present, gently easing my drumming and making a few strange sounds to distract the ooze from spreading too far into our collective. This worked and the beings who were spreading it knew that I was talking to them. I saw their energy bodies being overtaken by negative formless spirits, giving away their sovereignty in exchange for a place to hide their fears.
I was sharing space with negative beings, desperately trying to gain control of the situation, coming up with all kinds of mind tricks to through me off my center. I persisted to be present within my body, fearless as I was, there was nowhere to go at that moment, we just had to accept each other's presence and be okay with it. It was a peculiar and eerie feeling, but this experience has awakened the strength of my light body as I witnessed the impermeable nature of it against darkness. Many activations happened for me that night, many memories of my other lifetimes came rushing back to protect my spirit from the invading illusion.
After hours of drumming and deep into the night, we relaxed into the grooves of well chosen psychedelic music. The effects of the medicine were peaking, and the energies were high enough to comfortably sustain the room full of tripping people. Darkness had a chance that night, she looked me in the eye a few times, searching for a deep fear within me, trying to unsuccessfully find that which belongs to her.
The morning eventually came around, and we all came outside into the chilly Colorado air to witness a huge rainbow manifesting in the dark morning clouds. This was the best confirmation of my efforts, coming out from that room with a rainbow alignment, gentle lightness of the spirit, and a tired physical body. There was an awakening happening on many levels within me, with blissful energies circling the atmosphere and surrounding our group of rapidly awakened beings.
It was a perfect conclusion to a memorable experience, and I often think back to that moment with joy and pleasure of having the courage to go through with it despite my obvious lack of any shamanic training within this lifetime.