How I bravely crossed the continent in my little black SUV hybrid.
I was on my way across the continent, driving from New York to Santa Cruz California in my little black SUV hybrid. With all my possessions stuffed neatly in the back seat, I was finally free from the far reaching tentacles of the city life. Many memories ran through my mind as I was cruising through beautiful American landscapes. This was a new chapter in my life, and I followed the calling with much enthusiasm. New York, with all of its extravaganza, had nothing else to offer me and I knew it, lacking something very essential that I needed to seek elsewhere.
With enough premium herb in my back seat to last me a good while, I drove towards my destiny, my inner calling, leaving all of my previous life behind. This was a new beginning for me, I hungered for it with all my being, seeking answers to my deeply stirred emotions. I loved driving past The Great Lakes and the expansive views after leaving Chicago. There was sadness in my heart, seeing the land fenced and traversed with roads and wires, animals and birds scrambling for their diminishing and constrained habitats. I wanted to get away from it all, arrive somewhere in uncharted territory, where ancient forests still tell stories of the old ways.
Time was on my side and I had plenty of it, smoking my medicine pipe and charting out an escape plan, enjoying hearty pancake breakfasts along the road and generous helpings for the night time, resting in campsites along the road and visiting natural attractions during the day. My first big score was the Black Hills, and I immediately knew that I arrived somewhere very special. Driving along winding roads within the park, looking and reflecting upon rocks of amazing beauty, a strong feeling of ‘home’ overcame me. I started remembering many things about this place, as if it was so dear to me, but I still hardly knew it.
After reserving a campsite for a few nights, I decided to use my remaining time to explore the energy hidden within this natural and sacred temple. As if touched by a magic wand, I immediately knew my way around and recognized rock after rock, spot after spot, until a clear picture of a sacred presence started slowly to emerge within my mind. I loved this place with all of my being, feeling and reconnecting once again in this lifetime. Here is the special cave by the lake where I used to meditate, I went around and sat there. Yes, I knew this place well, the skull and the snake were still here, with some scattered offerings and a faint scent of incense. Sitting there by the lake, remembering much of the times when The Great Spirit walked these lands with pride, I allowed my mind to wander through infinite landscapes of distant memories.
Here is a special spot behind the waterfall, here are the caves where I meditated with the others. Here is the lake where the tribe would gather to rejoice and celebrate, a special spot for the elders to reconvene, all so familiar, so dear to me. I felt like a child hopping these rocks with ease, loved and cherished by the tribe, there were no dangers there, no fears, just love and sacred connection to the divine. Tourists seemed so strange to me, awkward and out of place, having absolutely no idea they were in the long-forgotten sacred land of the light beings and ascended masters. Yes, here is the path along the ridge, up the rocks into another sacred spot. I know this, a shape of a woman, a spot for offerings, familiar faces in the nearby rocks, the dragon across the ridge, yes, this was familiar to me. I sat there for a bit, enjoying the sacred space, allowing memories to flood back into existence. I looked up for a moment into the horizon, appreciating slowly approaching sunset, when I spotted a giant dolphin in the nearby mountains staring right at me, with its playful eyes full of ancient wisdom. Bewildered and amazed, I allowed all of this to permeate my light body, resting into the feeling of supreme joy and surrender to the memories of my own ancestors, filled with the bluish tint of divine awareness.
I spent a few days in The Black Hills, reminiscing and rejoicing at my newly awakened memories, quietly giggling to myself as the sacred images were taking their rightful places within my welcoming mind. I spent a few nights at a campsite near Sylvan Lake, enjoying an amazing myriad of surrounding rocks and shapes that can only match an illustration from a children’s story book. Much joy, happiness, contemplation, and realization happened here long ago, which still radiated from the sun kissed surface, my mind absorbing all of it like a sponge. It was all so simple, so magic, uplifting and divine, a place for light beings to enjoy this realm, basking in the abundance of energies and shapes, when serpents were honored and respected for their deep ancient wisdom, accumulated over eons of lifetimes on this planet.
My last sunset here was majestic, with golden orange clouds waving me a picturesque goodbye for the time being. This was the crown jewel of the surrounding area, a land of paradise where gods enjoyed their abundance and realized beings shared their teachings. I accepted the new memory gifts with much joy, and proceeded with my quest to further expand and ground my new realizations.
After driving about for a bit, I stumbled across a strange canyon filled with skulls and images of death. Strolling into it on foot, it was quickly getting creepier by the minute. I would imagine this place to be quite potent on the right night in full moonlight, but this was not the time, these spirits were resting and I wasn’t about to disturb them. Up on the hill, there was a cave and some tourists were descending into it with a guide. For a moment I considered going down there, to satisfy my burning curiosity, but quickly realized that it was a bad idea. As if in some magic reality show, the clouds darkened and descended, the air whiffed with the deep bone-chilling cold of the underworld and frozen contagious fear. I started feeling these spirits trapped deep within the land, serving their time, slowly learning the way of the wise, working their long and arduous ways towards the light. I wasn’t ready to open those gates and receive this energy, my mind, still developing as it was, hungered for positive and uplifting imprints, which I recognized quickly and in good time and backed away from the scene.
Seeing enough of this creeping darkness, I quickly recuperated and got back on the road, heading towards Bighorn National Forest and the Crow Reservation. I was not exactly sure what attracted me there, but I was being pulled into another profound learning experience that would stay with me always. Going out of my way, I headed for a special spot along the Bighorn river. At first, there was nothing spectacular about it and I was almost disappointed and ready to turn around. After all, my Black Hills experiences were mind blowing and I was expecting something similar. Fortunately for me, I received exactly what I needed, and I am still thankful for this humbling and unexpected gift.
The weather was really nice, the sun was shining and a few fluffy clouds randomly floated in the clear blue sky. I was standing in a parking lot next to a marina, observing the pleasant views of the river and looking for any clues for my being here. Slowly a few skulls started to emerge within the rocks, and I felt a deep presence within the whole area, as if it was wired with spirits in some unexpected way. Deciding to take this a bit further, I took out my magic pipe and took a long deep breath, inhaling the aromatic goodness of the medicine. My senses activated, and the real picture of my whereabouts started to emerge quicker than I could keep up with it. Yes, okay, there is the grandmother skull, the ceremonial waters, the cave on the other side with a strange skull on top.. mental images of young virgin girls, ancient mating ceremonies, raw female energy of the earth, but where is the male? I slowly turn around looking for clues and there he is, in all his glory, this giant mountain of a head with a distinct pointy antenna rock right in front of his nose. Wow.. I thought to myself looking intensely on this creature and freezing in my tracks, not realizing quickly enough that it is very much alive and looking back right at me. At this point the gates between dimensions were already half open and this male spirit within the mountain slowly but surely came to life.
At first, I felt his growing presence in the air, like a density that was getting stronger, magnetically pulling all the surrounding energy towards him. I stood there in amazement, observing the sky getting darker by the minute, surrounding hills coming to life with dark clouds coming up from behind them. There was nowhere for me to run, I was on an open plateau, in the center of this strange scene, clearly perceiving the spirits coming out from their resting places. Within fifteen minutes or so, the sky was completely dark from the spirit clouds that surrounded the whole area, I was standing there speechless, observing this dragon-like male entity slowly rising from the mountain, shaping into a dark ominous cloud which started slowly gliding towards me, filling the air with static electricity as if right before an upcoming thunderstorm.
This was my warning call, I wasn’t about to stay here observing this funny situation get any more interesting. Quickly getting into my trusty SUV, still high as a bird from my recent medicine intake, I started driving along the narrow two-lane road making my swift escape out of the danger zone, the creature followed. I remember checking my rear view mirror, hoping that somehow I have a chance to outrun him, but fear of what might happen next slowly gripped my whole being. I wanted to pull over and give up, hand myself over, confess and let go with dignity, but there were no shoulders in sight, with steep drop offs on each end of the road. There, a small pocket next to the fence, I pulled in, turned off my car and relaxed into my seat expecting to die.
Within seconds the creature was on top of the car, and I felt a strong electromagnetic presence building up around me, permeating my physical body and fusing with my soul, engulfing it with potent electric charge. I felt stripped of all my guards and useless protections, simply aware of his powerful presence all around me, devouring my fear with his unyielding presence, cleansing me of the imaginary boundaries between life and death. All I had left was the light of my own mind, my naked awareness observing the crumbling mind patterns and all-pervading emptiness around me. He telepathically communicated with me in that state, ruthlessly showing me the face of my ego, this was the payment for disturbing his peace with my ignorance, and I paid in full.
I don’t recall how long I sat there recuperating from what just happened, humbled to shreds by this unavoidable and unyielding expression of truth. There was no rush to leave anymore, the intense electromagnetic energies were subsiding and the storm gravitated back towards the waters. I contemplated for a bit, digesting the profound experience that touched me to my core, when I noticed another car quickly approaching towards the plateau. As it got closer, I saw two native american girls screaming wildly with excitement, their hair blowing in the gusting wind through the open windows, zooming past me and right towards the thunderstorm. I quickly realized why they were here, blessed and connected to the earth spirits, empowered and inspired by the raw earth energies, still living in the ways of their ancestors. This softened my mental pressure a bit, and I realized that my ignorance attracted this spontaneous teaching, and I humbly thanked the spirits for it.
I started driving away, slowly distancing myself from the scene, thinking about a place to camp out. Luckily there was a cozy spot next to the Crow Reservation, and I retreated there for the night. My mind was still in a state of bewilderment, my energy body emanating deep darkness and death, attracting undesired attention from other bystanders. It was getting dark, which helped me hide in my tent mostly unnoticed, anchoring and soothing my inflamed imagination with familiar human voices and distant sounds of crackling fire, softly buzzing electric lights and a general feeling of human presence. My mind was exhausted from this day, and I was happy to sink into a deep sleep almost immediately.
I had a dream with crows the next morning, patching up the gateways around me, restoring my perception back to its normal human state. I was back into my old familiar self, but different, now carrying this dark raw earth mating energy within my light body and my DNA, somehow I could perceive earth spirits now and they could see me. This was a new development, and I had difficulties entering the next mountain range because of this. The spirits would get very active in my presence, and my mind wasn’t strong enough to digest this expanded awareness with ease. Luckily there was a native american medicine wheel on my path in the highlands, where I stopped to pay my respects, make a few humble offerings, tie a ribbon alongside many others, and ask for protection from the elder spirits, who helped me get through the rest of my journey to Santa Cruz safely and unharmed.
Over the years, I thought back to this experience often and learned to transform it into deep realization and wisdom. However, regardless of how many years had passed since that day, I can still close my eyes and remember that moment when my mind had nowhere to run, inescapably trapped by swiftly approaching and certain inevitability of god-like awareness of the present moment, shredding my ignorant perception to pieces with a single powerful blow. Later, as I studied Buddhism, this experience correlated and aligned closely with some of the Tibetan protectors, especially that of the Mahakala or the Black Hat deity, ripping to shreds the ignorance of a practitioner, visualized on countless paintings still available to this very day.